she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
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