Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
