Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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