apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I just found puke in my bra..
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
