Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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