the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
