If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
