he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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