no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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