Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
