I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
