apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
How does one acquire holy water?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
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