so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
