I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize