just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
