After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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