I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize