After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
