I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
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