How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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