You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
