So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
