My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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