i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize