Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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