He uses pillows to masturbate.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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