week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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