Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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