Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Randomize
