No awkward lesbian experiences without me
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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