Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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