whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
