Whod you bang
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
