This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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