dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
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