Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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