remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Randomize
