I'm jealous of your bromance
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
