Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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