ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
organizing the empties. That sober.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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