Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
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