they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
