She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
