eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
