Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
