Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize