it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
