We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
