her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
