I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i barfeds in our rink
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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