Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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