Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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