I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i barfeds in our rink
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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