just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
