How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
