and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Just fell off a train. Bad.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
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