My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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